JEWGROUNDS WAS FUNNY when we were all twelve, living in the suburbs, listening to linkin park, and watching dragonball z, drinking pepsi, while playing halo co-op on the easiest setting, during which we consumed doritos and looked at paintball guns on ebay in internet explorer connected through aol on a 56k modem, before hopping into our balding fathers' latest midlife-crisis-impulse-sponsored japanese-built suv, to head to the mall to procure more skateboarding shoes, third-rate irregular levis, and mountain-bike parts, before heading home, voting democrat and masturbating to the latest sears catalog, while huffing paint in our garages before talking to pedophiles on aim, pretending to be whatever camwhore we'd just finished ranting about on myspace, with a matrix quote/anime character name/triple six-asterisk-parentheses-surrounded screenname firmly in tow, before heading to our supposedly "good school" in the morning to buy more pot to smoke during our counter-strike lan party with jimmy and the rest of the gang, taking ritalin, adderall and prozac eight times a day, and at the same time taking a casual pass at local, state or national governmential figures, legislatures, or structures, to appear edgy and intelligent in front of our budweiser-sneaking, limp-wristed, near-to-columbine-sociopathic "deep" friends who started to play the victim card as soon as they started losing arguments, which coincidentally, was six days before their botched suicide attempt, made simply because school tramp number twelve wouldn't go underneath the cum- and sweat-stained bleachers with them, thereby precluding the possibility of them getting to second base before their thirteenth birthday rolled around, after which point ridicule from other insecure, like-minded, and equally virgin thirteen year-olds could be virtually assured.